nahyee on despair, The Cardigans and recording her debut album

Written by Jamie Finn (@jamiefinn2209)

After a difficult year that involved dropping out of school and a spell of serious mental health issues, singer-songwriter nahyee has emerged with a new outlook. On her debut album, Poems, released Nov 22nd, she channels the difficulty of that period. In her first-ever interview, she shares with us how writing music saved her.

"For a whole year, I barely went outside, just crying in my room." This is nahyee, a Seoul-based singer-songwriter, explaining why she might appear nervous during our interview: "I also suffered from anxiety. It kept me awake all night."

At just 18 years old, nahyee has already been through a lot. This was compounded a few months ago, when she made a decision that shocked the adults around her: she dropped out of high school to focus entirely on music.

"Ever since starting secondary school, both my body and mind were in a terrible state," she explains. The routine was crushing; a long commute meant early departures, late returns, and energy completely depleted by the time she got home. "I'd planned to work on music when I got home after starting high school, but I simply didn't have the physical or mental energy for it, which made me feel incredibly frustrated."

After a month and a half of living in this semi-limbo state, she made her choice. "Truthfully, I'd always thought of being a student while you’re in your teens as something special. I know it’s a period you only get once in your life, so I wanted to cherish it. The time spent with my high school friends was so enjoyable." But the mathematics of her situation were inescapable. 

Her decision was met with a surprisingly positive response. Her friends supported her. Many adults were surprised, "but in the end, I think everyone genuinely supported me," she says. "Some even thought it was admirable that I'd decided this by myself. There were reactions of worry and concern, too, obviously. But I understood that all came from a place of caring. They wanted the best for me. So, I was grateful for everyone’s opinion."

What followed her departure from school, however, was darker than anyone expected, including nahyee herself. "After leaving school, I continuously felt a sense of despair on a scale I'd never known before. The most overwhelming emotions were self-loathing and loneliness; they felt beyond my control, and they remained unresolved for a long time."

These experiences would later become the foundation of her songwriting. "That year was such a painful period for me that it left a deep mark on my life. Naturally, I put a lot of what I went through during this time into my album. When writing lyrics, I kept drawing on how I felt back then."

The process of translating that darkness into songs felt cathartic. "Seeing my state of mind at any given moment captured so completely in the music felt both strange and enjoyable," she says. "When I felt listless, listless music emerged; when I was joyful, joyful music came out. It felt like the process of imprinting my very essence into song."

nahyee's relationship with music began earlier, at 13, when she started experimenting with music tech during one winter. "I found it fun, so I began experimenting with Logic by myself. I mainly created instrumental pieces without lyrics or melody." At 16, she picked up the guitar, and singing naturally followed. The real turning point, though, came from an unexpected source: Swedish alt-pop band The Cardigans. "When I was young, my absolute favourite song was The Cardigans' Lovefool" she tells us. "Quite by chance, I heard that song again as a teenager, and even after all that time, it was still brilliant. I thought, 'Ah! This is the kind of music that I needed.’”

She disappeared into their discography, watching music videos and live performances constantly. Then came the moment of clarity. "Once, I was completely lost in their music. I was walking home feeling excited after listening to their song Carnival. And it struck me: 'It would be so much fun to make music like this for a living!' That was the first time I seriously contemplated making music as a career. I think that moment was when I truly resolved to give music my all."

While The Cardigans have been a major influence on her music, nahyee’s influences span continents. She cites Japanese band Kinoko Teikoku as having a big impact. "I really adore the colour palette they express in their music and their distinctive guitar sound. The lyrics are truly beautiful, too." She also spent time obsessed with Number Girl's album School Girl Distortional Addict. "Watching the live footage, especially, you see Hisako Tabuchi playing the guitar with immense energy, yet with this stoic expression. I loved those moments where you could feel that pure energy."

Among Korean artists, she points to Han Heejung. "Her lyrics have comforted me on so many occasions. Her music had a profound influence on me, especially over the last year." She describes watching footage of Han performing with Blue Dawn, delivering lyrics "with such calm restraint, singing softly. Yet seeing the power behind every single word always moves me. Seeing her perform like that, I always think I want to be like that."

Last year, nahyee encountered a creative challenge. With her (entirely self-imposed) 2024 deadline for releasing an EP approaching, she started to panic. "To my ears, my songs at that time sounded inadequate. I worried that if I release them prematurely, they might end up as  something I’m not proud of." In a moment of sincere self-doubt, she considered abandoning the entire project.

Then she remembered an interview with producer and freelance music promoter, Sehoon Jang, that she'd read just days before. "I've been a fan of the YouTube channel, sehooninseoul, for ages," she says. In the interview, Jang had mentioned being open to helping artists who needed support. "That sentence, buried in my memory, suddenly popped into my head, and I felt like I absolutely had to contact them right away."

She sent an email along with one of her songs and a brief introduction. "Honestly, I didn't expect a reply at all. But surprisingly, he got back to me so quickly that I remember being terrified to open my inbox, my hands were shaking like crazy."

That email became the catalyst for the album's completion. "Throughout the entire process of making the album, I received an immense amount of help. Without Sehoon's support, I absolutely wouldn't have been able to create an album like this."

Poems itself is a touching 9-track indie rock gem that draws deeply on the shoegaze ethos, even when it is not exploring the shoegaze aesthetic. There’s plenty of fuzzy rock haze on here but the album has more variety than the “shoegaze” label might imply. There are elements of folk, indie rock, and more here. While there’s lots of sadness expressed through Poems, there are also some surprisingly energetic, even dancey songs that we can’t wait to see live.

Track seven, Let's Draw Our Expressions Through the Night, proved particularly difficult to finish. "It's actually one of the first songs I've written. But it wasn't until the very end of the recording process that I could finally finish it. We changed that song more than any other. It started with a very strong shoegaze sound, then took on an electronic music form, then back to shoegaze… none of the formats I tried quite clicked. In the end, I made it into something more minimalist, with just acoustic guitar and vocals."

Despite all the effort that went into  Let's Draw Our Expressions Through the Night, it almost never made the final cut. "It was difficult to include it on the album due to all the twists and turns, but I'm proud to have finished it. It's one of my most cherished songs, so I was determined to make sure it was featured on the album."

While nahyee is yet to perform in any of Seoul’s live music venues, she has been taking to the stage in an unlikely way. “These days, I perform weekly at my church,” she explains, “playing acoustic guitar and singing in the worship team.” That's the extent of her live experience so far, but she’s looking towards playing her own material in the future. "If the opportunity arises, I'd like to sing my own songs in front of people. I'm not sure exactly when that might be."

More importantly, she's doing better. "Fortunately, I met a lot of good people and I’ve started to recover little by little. As time passed, I gradually felt better, and the days when I sink into despair are not as common. I feel I've become more resilient, so I can say I'm now pretty stable days."

For someone who admits "I always feel my music has its shortcomings," nahyee has created something remarkably honest and uncompromising. "I'm still learning in many ways," she says, "but I hope people will still listen to my honest story with an open mind." By listening to nahyee's story, we've heard something undeniably real. But she's not just here to share what she's been through - she's going to continue making music as her journey unfolds. We can't wait to hear what comes next.

For more information on nahyee, please follow her here.