Words by Charity Lynn
Guitars that blur into one another, drums that push through the haze, vocals that sit somewhere beneath it all – Leaveourtears makes music that carries memories of warmth through the cold.
Shoegaze wasn’t exactly the genre Jeong Hoon set out to be. After releasing folk music under his real name and drumming here and there, he spent years exploring music before eventually stumbling into the sound that would become the foundation of this solo project Leaveourtears. So, in the soft light of a quiet cafe, we sat down to hear more about the road that led to the creation of Leaveourtears.
Having made music for more than eight years, Jeong Hoon has gradually become a multi-instrumentalist: playing guitar, bass, and drums, while also handling his own mixing. Leaveourtears has become a space where he can translate his own personal experiences into a sound that’s both overwhelming and comforting at the same time. Over time, it’s even become something he struggles to categorise. “Honestly, I still don’t fully view my music as shoegaze,” he admitted. “But I’m grateful that people see it that way.”
His sound naturally developed from the artists he was listening to at the time, with Whirr’s Distressor album holding a particular place in that history. It was the first shoegaze band he ever heard, and he believes that influence inherently carried over into the mixing style of his debut album. “I really like texture in my music,” he said. “But like most artists, I’m still in the process of finding my own sound.”
More than the sound, his initial attraction to shoegaze also stemmed from how he views his own voice. “Actually, I don’t think I have that great of a singing voice, and I can’t sing particularly loudly,” he started. “But with shoegaze, I noticed you don’t always need loud vocals.” Shoegaze is known for its more distant, ethereal vocals, so he didn’t have to force his voice to the front of the mix, giving him more freedom. “I feel that my voice and lyrics can be conveyed more intimately that way.” At the same time, however, the genre's sheer intensity offered him something his voice alone couldn’t. The “bursting of guitars and drums,” as he described it, made him feel like a “greater version” of himself. The intimacy of his voice against something much larger and louder – that’s the contrast he was drawn to. Shoegaze became more than a sound he enjoyed creating: it gave him a place where he feels more confident.
Leaveourtears’ influence isn’t built entirely around music. In fact, some of its more prominent imagery comes from snow, while a more unexpected place comes from Wes Anderson’s movie The Grand Budapest Hotel. The connection makes sense when you consider the atmosphere Jeong Hoon aims to create: a place where warmth and melancholy can exist side by side. He pointed out that he likes to “blend warm and cold feelings.”
He also noted that his songs have become reflections of his own personal experiences. “It’s not entirely intentional,” he admitted, stating that he prefers to have listeners draw their own conclusions. “But I think the feelings of loneliness and solitude were particularly strong. Especially in my first album, there was even anger.” Still, he isn’t interested in telling listeners exactly what those feelings should mean.
That openness, however, is what makes his song phobia, from his debut album soft meltdown, stand out. Contrary to how most of his lyrics are deliberately open to interpretation, he pointed out that the lyrics of this song took a more direct look at the world. “We’re constantly in an era of hate where diversity is hardly respected,” he added. “Whether it’s politics, race, or war. My life motto has always been ‘let’s live loving the world.’ In the end, I think my message is simply that.”
The titles of Leaveourtears’ releases also often feel like they belong to the same emotional vocabulary, even when the music itself moves in different directions.
“In the case of the first album soft meltdown, there was an Instagram account called ‘Shibuya Meltdown’ that posts pictures of drunk people in the streets,” he explained. It seemed that the combination of humour, sadness, and exhaustion of the photos stayed with him. “Seeing the people lying down having a meltdown…the album also felt as if I were having a meltdown. Just softer,” he laughed. acid sugar, the second album, came with a little less deliberation. “I didn’t think much about the title,” he confessed.
However, his latest EP release vivid pillow came from a much more specific feeling. “I wanted to express the thin line between dreams and reality,” he said. “To put it briefly, I wanted to capture the feeling of drifting softly to sleep.” The EP drifts through several kinds of exhaustion and longing. cocoon came from a particularly difficult day when he fell asleep while in a place of depression. “I wanted to put that sad feeling into that song.”
look at me was written after their Asian tour left him completely exhausted by both people and certain circumstances. “Basically, I was saying ‘please just leave me alone.’” pure, on the other hand, was a song he wrote imagining what it would feel like to express love with absolute sincerity. “I used it as a metaphor for love,” he explained. “The classical piece titled Traumerei from Kinderszenen by Schumann was embedded in the outro.” The piece introduces another layer of longing, and carries the song to its final return to reality.
Of all his songs, blurr, from his debut album, remains his favorite. “The moment you listen to it, it’s as if the time and space around you completely shifts,” he said. To him, the image it creates is almost cinematic. “It feels like I’m walking alone in snow.”
For all the emotions that go into his songs, actually translating those feelings into finished recordings is a much more frustrating process. Without any formal training in mixing, Jeong Hoon had to teach himself through repetition, experimentation, and frankly an unreasonable amount of listening. “Without exaggeration, I listened to each track around ten thousand times during the mixing process,” he joked. He admits that it’s taken quite a toll on his hearing as well. “It’s a little hard to hear certain frequencies now.”
These days, he’s trying to teach himself how to mix more effectively, as it’s a necessary part of bringing his recordings to life. “But it’s really not fun,” he laughed.
Although the start of most of his song creations begins with a guitar or drums, his attention is slowly shifting toward another instrument. “Lately,” he began, “I’m getting interested in synths. So I’m thinking about incorporating them more into my work.” We may very well see that used in some of his future releases.
As Leaveourtears has become increasingly associated with shoegaze, one might wonder if there is a certain pressure to maintain a recognisable sound. However, for Jeong Hoon, he has learned that the true joy of music-making comes from creating it on his own terms. “I just try to make music that sounds good to me,” he stated, citing that writing songs to meet others’ expectations often leads to disappointment.
Nevertheless, there are moments that make it all worthwhile. Successfully wrapping up his first Asian tour still stands as one of the most rewarding memories he has since starting this project. It may have also revealed something important: although Leaveourtears may begin as one person, it doesn’t mean he’s doing everything alone.
The session musicians who work with Jeong Hoon have their own lives and difficulties, and he is conscious of the fact that continuing to make music requires sacrifices. Despite that, these members continue to wholeheartedly support him. “To these friends, I’m probably the last piece of idealism they have left with music,” he said warmly. Their commitment creates an obligation of its own. Not one of pressure, but of gratitude. “Because of that, I always try to work as hard as I can. It’s the least I can do in return so that we can always keep making music together happily.”
After two years of writing music under Leaveourtears, you’d expect Jeong Hoon to have a clear sense of how far he’s come. Instead, he’s looking in the opposite direction. “I don’t feel like I’ve grown just yet,” he began, with no frustration in the statement so much as an understanding that there are still things left to discover both internally and musically. “Rather, I’m planning a journey to reconnect with my initial passion for music.”
For now, the journey continues. “I’m planning to release even better music moving forward,” he stated. In addition, he also has another Asian tour planned for both Korea and Japan. “I hope you all stay tuned for more shows soon.”
You can stay up-to-date on Leaveourtears on Instagram (@leaveourtears).